Daddy or Chips?

• A Pregnacare Pen - it's the usual fare for free pens, but it's now sat on my desk at work and writes pretty nicely for a freebie. No complaints here, but a sample of the actual vitamins would have probably been as useful. 

• A Boots Baby Size 2 Nappy - just the one nappy. I haven't opened it but a thorough inspection of the packet revealed no further freebies or anything like it. There might be a money off voucher on the paper sleeve, which might come in useful if you like the brand. I'm not sure one nappy is enough to convince me to spend a lot of money on them though, so let's hope they're competitively priced. I'd have liked more than one, but I'm pretty greedy. 

• Persil Non Bio & Comfort Pure - two sachets of laundry stuff! One of Persil's Non Bio detergent and one of Comfort Pure fabric softener. There's also £1 off each of these valid until March next year, which is a nice little Brucey bonus. If they smell good, I'm in for sure. 

• The teeniest, tiniest pot of Sudocrem I have ever seen - Wes has in fact claimed the cute little pot of the good stuff for himself. He doesn't use it, he just thinks it's adorable. I'm fairly sure there's a pot of Sudocrem in my mum's house that's as old as my youngest sister (who is fifteen) so this little pot will probably still last you a couple of uses and frankly is the best thing in this bag, bar none. 

So is it worth the trip to Boots, ASDA or Superdrug?

So, Wes and I are in the middle of a saga right now and at the moment it revolves around the issue of paternity leave and the fact that, despite being told that his workplace are 'flexible with parents' he isn't even allowed parternity leave. Not even by law.

In February this year (I was around 16 weeks gone) Wes got a new job. It was more money, more prospects and an altogether nicer idea than his previous place. With a baby on the way, it seemed only right that we try and better our position before he gets here so that it made things easier all around but now, under the present UK laws, we are being penalised for doing just that.

It turns out that if you want your fortnight off, earning your measly statutory minimum of £139.58 per week (as at 2015/2016 tax year), you must:


• be an employee
• have worked for your employer continuously for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth (known as the ‘qualifying week’)
• give the correct notice


So because Wes hadn't worked at this place for 6 months by the time I turned 25 weeks pregnant, his entitlement to leave AT ALL (paid or not) is gone. Poof. Vanished. But had he stayed in his horrible previous job, the leave would be his for the taking and we would be able to spend the first two weeks as new parents together.

• If we were in Norway, we would both get a whopping 14 weeks paid leave to spend with our baby, with a further 18 weeks to split between us on a full salary.
• In Sweden, we would get 480 days' leave to divide between us, with 390 of those days at around 80% of our salary.
• Germany will give you both up to 14 months off at 65% of your salary.
• Luxembourg allows two six month periods that can be taken by either parent, where you are paid €1,800 a month.
• The Czech Republic offers up to four years(!) of parental leave, paid at between €600 and €400 a month, to "either or both" parents – although only one of them receives the benefit.
• The rest of Europe offers mothers between 14 and 22 weeks of paid leave for us mothers and up to three months' paid leave for new dads.

So when the rest of Europe are so helpful, why are we in the UK struggling to allow even a bare minimum of time off to new parents?

Could be worse. In places such as Thailand, Pakistan and Malaysia, paternity leave simply isn't a thing. The United States will give you 12 weeks' parental leave but you're not getting paid and most African dads will get no leave whatsoever.

So, it's not all bad. I get that. It's just not how I'd planned it... and I really like things to go to plan.

Now, we both face the prospect of a very different introduction to our little boy and more than how upset I am for me and for the new arrival, I am more upset for Wes.

Whilst I, as the mother, get to stay with the baby and bond with him and have all of the stories of his first ten weeks on this planet without the pesky distraction of work, he has to leave us each morning knowing he won't get any of that. All because we tried to do what is best for our baby.

• The basic of the basic. I’m Amy. I’m presently engaged to Wes. We’re welcoming our first baby, a boy, in July 2015 and we’re getting married in November 2015. One was planned before the other, but I’ll leave you to make up your own mind on which came first.

• We have a cat. His name is Rufio, though Wes once saw a cat on TV called Peanut, so now he’s sometimes called that too. He’s a menace, but he is the cutest menace you’re ever likely to see.

• The blog is called Daddy or Chips for a couple of reasons, but mainly it’s because I have to remind myself that my priorities are about to all change. Not that I would ever need to choose between Wes and a plate of the good stuff, but aside from being that cute advert around ten years ago, it also represents my battle between pigging out and overindulging in all sorts of stuff and providing for my now growing family and being a responsible adult in general. Which I should have mastered by 27, yes I realise that.

• I found out I was pregnant when I was admitted into A&E with appendicitis. It wasn’t the nicest start to finding out you’re going to be parents for the first time, but the little bugger survived the ordeal and for all intents and purposes everyone will come out of the other side jusssst fine. Except Wes… I may upset him whilst I’m in labour, but I have it on good authority that he’s well prepared for the abuse I will no doubt throw at him.

• I absolutely loathe football and everything about it. Not just because I’m female and not because I’m anti-sport (I love most other sports)… I’m very lucky that my husband to be also can’t stand it. However, we have another man in our lives that may be swayed into it and I am very unsure as to how I might deal with that later. Especially if my mum goes through with her threat and buys him a tiny human’s Burnley kit.

• I have three tattoos. I basically regret them all.

• I cannot abide the sound of someone whistling. Anyone. The longer and more tuneful the worse it is. This causes me issues, because it’s my boss’ favourite hobby and my husband-to-be’s mindless habit.

• I actually love professional wrestling. Well, let me just rephrase that a bit. I used to and potentially still would if I had the time to watch it regularly… and wasn’t judged by my other half, who isn’t a ten year old boy.

• We, as a couple, research pretty much everything we buy. The more expensive the purchase, the more research goes into it. Hours and hours of researching prices, reviews, alternatives… it hasn’t steered us wrong yet. To the best of my recollection, we haven’t made a purchase that we regret.

• The pair of us are huge videogame fans. We were, until recently, active players on World of Warcraft (yes, that one you’ve heard all the horror stories about) and still make time to play together on a bunch of different consoles and platforms. And yes, we will be encouraging our kids to do the same.